The order is always love understanding and love of this special form, that each person find a place in the heart, is a comprehensive and inclusive love.
How do you determine if a family has a disease?
Through Family Constellations has become clear that many diseases are related to some incident in the family, for example, when there has been a mess. I mean, the family as a whole behaves as if it depended on a soul, and this is in order. When there is deviation from that order, one turns away and often there is someone in the family who is ill.
The first order governing the soul (and to obligate it really is met) is that each member family has the same right to belong. That is, if someone from that family is denied the right to belong, is excluded, so that the soul is to reestablish that order.
And then, what the facts are considered common for someone in the family is excluded?, Who is often excluded from the family?
For example, former partners of parents or grandparents. That is, if the man or woman is separated from a previous partner, it means they exclude that person's soul is like to be angry with her, make accusations, blame or prosecuted.
Then, what happens in the family?
When man or the woman returned to find a new partner, and if with this couple have a son, then that child will represent the former partner under the influence of that great soul and, thus, that great soul will try to sort this mess and process is inevitable. Neither the parents nor the child know about this process that is taking place. Everyone is exposed to the influence of that great soul, and sometimes it happens that the child becomes ill with a disease similar to what was the former partner or, for example, you might want to commit suicide and the couple wanted to do earlier and Later behaves similarly to the previous partner. Ie, binds to the former couple doing a similar relationship to the parent or the mother had with that person. So in that relationship similar things happen that happened with previous partners.
Can you solve this situation or should be allowed to elapse and ends healing that way?
can be solved if one knows, if you know the order and if it recognizes that order. At first, they can do the man and woman and later, that child as an adult. If they know the order, you can sort the mess, for example, honoring the former partner, the man tells his ex-wife: "I have not been good, I loved a lot and it hurts that have separated us." Sometimes I like to tell this story:
"A man and woman embark on a journey together. Each carries a backpack filled with good things well. Together they walk through flower gardens and mature fields, are happy, and occasionally sit down, open their backpacks and share what they have. After a while, the road turns uphill and one of them starts to have problems. The backpacks are lighter, but one of them sits down to rest while the other continues up the hill. When you reach the top, you feel exhausted and looks down. In the distance, go to your partner, remember how nice it was everything and begins to mourn ... "
The determination is very clear on the person who looks down, or rather, backward. Now, the responsibility of bringing all that experience to his new relationship or your child in particular, and his new family in general is very difficult to achieve understanding. It seems that children are "victims" of the errors of our parents' relationship.
Returning once more to the story ... At mourn, that person takes the other again in your heart and with that has been made in the solution. Suppose that this story is about a man who realizes that her daughter behaves like that of his former partner. Then he says: "I loved her very much and have a place in my heart." Thus, the daughter feels empty, lighter and now that daughter can look to the mother and will no longer compete with his mother as before and says, "Dear Mom, you're right for me." And so it has restored order.
It was demonstrated that the order is always love and understand love in this special way, each person find a place in the heart, is a comprehensive and inclusive love. Here I refer again to the other question. My experience tells me that when a couple is separated is not guilty, because no one is free to behave differently than he is behaving, because each is united with his family of origin.
Since the family of origin there is a mess, it's like this family to attracts, leads back trying to sort something, although it can never achieve. With love, your family calls home and suddenly lost this pair of eyes, escapes him. Without knowing it, behaves, for example, as a former partner of his parents and therefore the relationship between them. And by all involved, any two people is free. From there, the fate of the family of origin become the destiny of that relationship and none of them can avoid or change it if I tried.
I wonder if the disorder is a continuing trend forever.
In other words, it establishes an order and again is like an energy where the disorder re-enter.
All relationships struggle with the issue of the disorder in many ways. And where there is disorder in a special way?
Where one feels, where it gets over others, especially if you feel morally better than others. Anyone who feels morally superior or better is like that judges, other judges and excludes it from his heart. This shows that the love that serves life is different, is beyond the differentiation between good and evil. That is, if a couple watches, the man looks at women and women look at each man tells another: "Yes, I agree with you as you are, and you I love you". What happiness great, as is any change to the other! Both remain at the same level and so loving and healthy.
Is that kind of acceptance of others?
If people are quite what they will be learning the constellations. There would
the secret ... That's a secret, yes, but not just because you go to a constellation. Family Constellations bring to light these areas and the more it spreads, more people know how to deal with, and the easier it is doing. Want to give you another example?
Yes, of course!
A woman sent me a letter. Never had gone to a family constellation. Had only read my book orders of love. From this, suddenly discovered that his family was excluded and was worried about her daughter. The daughter had cut off all contact with her for many years. Then he realized that there were two people who had been specifically excluded: the first woman from her husband and the father of her husband or her father. That same night, lit a candle on behalf of the first woman from her husband and lovingly remembered. He bowed to her, bowed and said, "I give you my honor." The next day, did the same lit a candle, imagined the father of her husband, bowed to him and said: "I give you honor."
The next day, she called her daughter: "Mama I'm coming." Order that is very easy, very simple. While prior
said love was the one who established the order, is there any other feeling able to improve relations?
always love, but love that many imagine.
Some love exclusively, ie they exclude others from that love, which has serious consequences. And who is the first person is excluded from the love? Although it sounds very strange, is the mother. The person who is excluded from the mother can not love any other person, or his partner or their children. And then, where begins the great love? With the mother.
And when that person says they love, what do you feel if not love?
When the couple says "I love you" or even see it. In the couple, looking to replace the mother refuses. In the couple, placing the same expectations that the mother, the same expectations. In this situation, the couple is overworked, so this relationship is doomed to end.
can not work the love of the mother. First, this is a spiritual love and comes from a recognition of the mother in a spiritual way. However, concepts are very strange about the mother and in that sense of course, also to the parents. Many say "my mom" or "Dad" as if they belonged. No mother who belongs to the child, the child belongs to the mother and no father belongs to the child, the child belongs to the father. And how we might have to the mother and the father? They are a gift and as are determined for us. As they are are a gift from God to us. Let me for saying so, because from where we really do not know. Each of us has a sense, determination and a special destiny. That can not choose, is specified from another place and that parents determine what we were given. Therefore, when I look at my mom, I look beyond it, and look for something bigger. Then, before that, I say, "Yes, as you are, you're my mom, and as you, I love you." Immediately, one notices the difference right? That is another level deeper, without any demand or reproach. And when I and my mother, what happens to it? Open your heart.
This is the second time I have the chance to chat with you and one of the important things I learned is that the mother of a person is decisive in his life. It's the most important of all, is not it?
Yes, definitely. And where is possible to establish the relationship with the mother, there are also all other relationships. The person who loves his mother was immediately noted. Her face is radiant and other people love that person. And loves his work and always find work and money. He who has no money, no mother is separated from the mother. He who has no job, is separated from the mother, who does not have a partner, is separated from the mother. In short, where happiness begins and where health begins? With our mother ...
Bert Hellinger studied philosophy and theology at the University of Würzburg and pedagogy Natal University in South Africa. Subsequently trained in group dynamics, psychoanalysis, primal therapy, psychodrama, hypnosis, transactional analysis, gestalt therapy, NLP and systemic family therapy, leading to an integration of all the fruit of which was your family constellation work and discovery of the orders of love.
www.circulodeconstelaciones.cl
http://www.mundonuevo.cl/blog/articulos/los-destinos-de-la-familia-de-origen/
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